I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
