Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
