i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
