i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize