you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
