Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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