im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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