So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
someone owes me an orgasm
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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