Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
