I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
