everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
