This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
