North Korea, Best Korea!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
