I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So many bounce houses so little time
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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