just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize