After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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