I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
