We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize