While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Im part way to drunk.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
