Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
