as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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