So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
