There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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