No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
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