he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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