i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
