when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
