i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
