you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
