my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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