Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
