You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
