ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
