Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I am available for nakedness
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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