the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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