If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
