i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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