just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
