Sry I called you an 8
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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