we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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