just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
