We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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