wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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