So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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