I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
