Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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