You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
