Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't turn off my feet"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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