I love black thongs
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
