apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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