so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Randomize
