okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I fill condoms, not promises.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
