I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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