why didn't you poke me back
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
