guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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